Duan.... Seronok dilancap

Lately selalu sangat aku teringat kenang-kenangan lama. Nak kata tua, I'm not that old pun. I am 30 years old. Not old. Even for some people, masa ni lah masa keemasan, masa kemuncak...meliar tak ingat dunia. Bertukar lelaki seperti tukar baju.

Anyway..Duan...

Nama tak handsome mana pun. Tapi dia antara lalaki yang memainkan peranan penting terhadap siapa aku sekarang.

Aku dah cerita macam mana masa aku kecik, aku selalu ditangkap di masjid, dan dilancapkan beramai-ramai. Dari mulanya aku melawan, aku jadi seronok, dan aku berpura-pura melawan bila ditangkap, padahal aku suka.

Dengan Duan, it was a different story. Aku dibesarkan bukan di kawasan bandar. At that time rumah my neighbour agak tinggi dari tanah. rumah yang ada tiang tu. So kat bawah rumah ada buaian yang dibuat daripada guni. That was a favourite spot for bebudak lepaking night time. Especially kaki hisap rokok aka budak nakal. Mind you, I'm not a budak nakal. But sometime i like lingering around them. Dah la sikit kawan kan..

So it happened. Masa tu Duan tengah lepak-lepak kat buaian guni tu. Aku datang dan dia offer supaya aku baring sekali dengan. The buaian guni tu tak la besar mana.Cukup2 untuk memuatkan dua orang. Tu pun akan jadi sendat. MAsa tu dalam pukul 8 malam kot. And we were not alone. Ada lagi buaian lain, dgn bebudak lain kepak-lepak.

Bila dah naik berdua, tangan dia tersentuh la my dick. Memula dia tarik. Lepas tu aku sengaja menggerakkan badan aku supaya my dick tersentuh lagi tangan dia. And for the first time, without the need to pretend kena tangkap, or pretend tido, aku dilancapkan.

Dua tanya, “ko nak aku pegang ke?”

Aku hanya diam, tanpa mengalihkan badan aku. Dan Duan pun terus meramas dan melancapkan aku. Hmm…I don’t remember I cum that time. Yes, I didn’t. Masa tu tak pancut pun dah seronok gila bila kote dilancapkan. Budak-budak lain tak perasan as gelap. We hardly see each other’s faces kat bawah rumah tu. Anf it didn’t happen once. Banyak kali jugak la. Sampai la aku masuk boarding school, terus tak bertegur sapa with those bebudak nakal.

If you ever wonder, Duan is now married with children.

The same question haunted me. Those people who melancapkan aku dulu, Duan…do they remember what happened? If they do…how do they actually see me now?

As a gay?

Or they don’t even remember. As for them what happened is another naughty action they did zaman kanak-kanak. Without realizing the impact it had on me…

Sigh.

Sex Terpaksa (with a guy yang sangat tak taste)

Apa yg asyiknya gay or plu mating ritual ?

Sama ke with straight people mating ritual?

It's totally different my dear. Gay plu amting ritual sometimes could be so freaking damn complicated. But the objectives obviously clear..to get yourself laid, although some gay plu outside there tends to be freaking sista saying they don't practise sex on the first date. Mereka yang rugi :)

Anyway, aku rindukan all the mating ritual...

Berkenalan, texting (showing that konon-konon concern la..) jumpa…lepak2 makan minum (altho sbenarnya kalau taste dah menggeletar kepala atas bawah nak baham bawak balik rumah). You may not realize it, but those ritual that makes gay plu mating is exciting. Unlike if yo have been together for many years…bila nak mating jer..terus main. Tak add the excitement jeling-jeling masa keluar makan, pretending concern, evaluating taste ke tak taste, or taste gile sampai terkeluar air mazi semua…

Tapi tu la kan, once you are in a stable relationship eventough sesekali teringin nak makan ikan baru…terasa malas jugak nak keluar and repeat all those gay plu mating rituals. Nak travel pergi jumpa…and facing the risk that guy tak taste mana pun. Remember, pictures have deceiving power. Dalam picture kemain taste, gorgeous, sekali dah jumpa…haru, hazab! Then how?

Kalau real live terlalu haru…mula la rasa menyesal. Carik idea mcm mana nak lari. My case, sometime kalau malas travel jumpa kat luar I suruh datang rumah. Of which…lagi high risk. Tapi tu la kan..kalau air dah penoh kat kepala, risk ke tak risk semua dah campak ke tepi. Inviting stranger (kononnya taste la tengok picture) to your place is more troublesome and risky. Especially kalau turned out real life, memang hazab. Tu belum lagi if bernasib malang, jatuh ditimba tangga. Dah la tak taste, kena rogol...and then kena rompak! Mind you..this is true stoy. My freind pernah kena rogol (main secara paksa), then dirompak habis semua laptop and duit! 

When you are inviting stranger to your place, bila tak taste, nak halau pun susah… Especially myself. I’m a type of person yg susah nk jadi biadap ni. To the extent, sekali tu…terpaksa la main sambil pejam mata, imagine yangg indah-indah. That guy dah la buncit gila in real life. Dalam picture nampak stocy, and tak buncit…sekali aduhai….hazab. That  was the worst experience ever. Since that guy tu pun tak nak balik…the only way to halau him is to main cepat-cepat, get it done soonest as possible. So main lah…masa baring atas badan dia terasa perut jer…euwww…Seriously EUWWW!!!

Since that incident, whernever terasa nak makan ikan baru... I will make sure dlm picture tak stocky, and of cos tak gemuk or buncit. And I will make it crystal clear I don’t like fat, stocky, buncit people… 

In conclusion.... in a desperate situation... I can have sex with my eyes close J

Raya menjelang tiba

Ray is just around the corner.

Fb pun makin penuh dgn profile picture wearing full malay. Oh btw, my fb semua lelaki...tak ada perempuan pun dlm friend list :)

Fb jugak sekrang makin penuh hadek2, dan havang2 photoshot untuk e-card raya. Yes, hadek-hadek and havang-havang nowadays sanggup ye bersusah payah, beria-ria photoshoot pakai full Malay costume...nasib baik tak ada tanjak jer. Photoshoot utk dibuat e-card raya...

Siap e-card raya, upload kt fb, tag rakan-rakan...rapat tak rapat tak ksiah. Most importantly tag as many as you can...kalau tak rugilah usaha berphotoshot bagai kan?

Fb nowadays almost becoming like myspace, freindster... Well, that's what most people says. And at least it's true for me. I stop using Fb to connect with my actual freind, but instead i'm suing it untuk carik makan :) of coz selain dr pr dan aktiviti mengerudi.

Carik makan.

hmm...nowadays, it seems like it's getting harder to cari makan. Most of the time, I would end up repeating order. With my bf jgn ckp lah... repeat order sampai i know every details. But, sadly i also have to repeat order from scandals and exes. Bukan apa, the world really has becoming smaller each day. Plu circle getting bigger, and worst is...once it's getting bigger...makin susah nak carik makan sebab ends up u main dengan your freind's freind...your freind's ex lah...and what not. Of which at the end of the day, thing could get very complicated. Epsecially if you are dealing with hadek-hadek. Oh, i would not go to that hadek-hadek areas........ will talk specifically about it later.

What am I doing now? I am supre mengantuk. Raya mood really has taken over control of my body and soul....

Sex with your ex...

So I did it in Ramadahan...

So I did it despite of myself having a boyfriend, and committed to the relationship we have...

So I did it although I knew he's (my ex, wait..or is it my ex or scandal?) also in a relationship...

Life as a Malay, muslim plu is not as gayish as gay life. Hadek- hadek yang baru nak naik tu, kalau mengimpikan dunia yang meriah menjadi gay melayu islam, stop it. It is not as easy, as merry-merryish as you think. For an example, I have a boyfriend. We have been together like...4 years?

But, being lelaki...it's really hard to walk the same road without once in a while diverted here and there checking wild flowers. It's really hard to makan ikan yang serupa everyday, every month, every year. Once in a while, teringin nak makan ikan yang berbeza, once in a while...terjala ikan muda, ikan tua yang mengancam.... 

So I pun terjebak again. In a Ramadhan month, with my ex (or is it my ex-scandal?)

I think scandal kot...we never really committed ourself to a relationship. Although as far as I remember, he tried to, but I kept it clear, told him clearly.... I'm not into any kinda relationship with him, that it was merely just for fun. TnG kinda material.

I'm not sure about you, but I don't mind having sex with my exes, or with my ex-scandals. hahaha... sometime it's fun to do that. 

The only thing that I hate, is the feeling after dah puas main semua.... as I said, I love my boyfriend. Knowing that I'm berselingkuh to him, making me feel guilty. Honestly, from the bottom of my heart... it hurts me thinking of him everytime dah puas menjamah tubuh jantan lain. Sigh. Tapi dah lepas puas la... before or tengah main tak terfikir pulak.

Well, a man will always be a man. Sedangkan laki-bini pun banyak kes laki makan luar. inikan pulak laki-laki.

A friend of mine, he's already in a relationship for about 10 fucking years! and...he has experienced all kinda relationship throughout that 10 fucking years. Open relationship....close relationship...sebelah only open, close tapi berselingkuh, bermadu 2, bermadu tiga....you name it. At the end of the day...they still together...

Please don't get me wrong. I don't want to be in the same situation like him or making him my role model (crazy ass!!). I am trying hard to be a loyal boyfriend. As for my boyfriend, I am confident I am the only one that he's been sleeping with...Tapi tu lah...keep on trying, but tetap lah jugak gagal...

So many men, too little time.

Dem it.

Gay Mating Ritual

Gay Mating ritual 101

     There are multiple scenes where gay mating ritual could have taken place. Either it is live version on the street, in a bar, or an online version like cruising on fb, tweet, or a more specific gay dating site like pr, grinder, manjam, tagged to name a few.

     Gay Mating ritual could be frustrating. Especially if so much efforts has been given only to be disappointed on the performance in bed. Now, to avoid such disappointment, it is important to believe that it’s not the destination, it’s the journey that matters. Whenever you have a crush on someone, do not focus your mind on the end game, the sex but also enjoy all the ritual in bringing you closer to bed together with him.

     In mating ritual, how to know whether or not the guy interested in you? Remember, gay mating ritual could be so freaking complicated. The best way of handling it, is to keep it obvious, simple and be bold! You may start with building an eye contact with that guy. Make sure you land your eyes on him, and convey the signal that you are interested in him. At first do it slowly and not too obvious. Once you got him looking at your back, withdraw your eyes from him. The second time you look at him, if he looks back on you…do not take back your eyes. Try to stick to it. That time it would be good if you can smile at him. If he smiles back, it’s a good sign, and you better move your ass to him and start talking.

     There’s also this three step kinda thing. This can be practise if you are on the move. If you spotted someone that you taste, make an eye contact till you and him passing each other. After 3 steps turn back and look at him. If he’s also turn and look back at you…walla. Go to him, have a small chat..and who know you may have a fuck or two.

     Alert. In gay mating ritual, it’s not necessary for top gay to take the first move. A bottom gay in certain circumstances should make the first move. As a matter of fact, although top gay will be the dominant person in bed, in outside world it’s always bottom that will be in charge, especially in engaging a conversation. In plu world, top gay can be considered a rare species, so they tend to jual mahal, if you know what I mean.

Tough competition huh?

     Top gay and bottom gay. Argh…this is where in gay mating ritual it could get messy. Paramount to identify whether your potential is top or bottom. How to identify it? Unlike any other 101 reference, identifying top-bottom gay could be difficult, and it is something that you have to develop yourself. It’s gaydar kinda thing. However, if you are one flexy gay…thing would be much easier for you.

     It is also crucial not to lengthen your early step in mating ritual. Eye contact, chatting, going out…all those should be kept simple and fast. No need to have “fuck only after 3 dates” or “fuck after few months” kinda rules. For God sake, there is a tough competition out there. Stop wasting your time trying to develop feeling etc. before you actually get laid. Bottom line, wheneher you are looking for love, relationship or just a simple pleasure fuck, simple and fast approach is important. It’s ok to have sex even after first dates.

But then again…this is just my opinion. 

How Malay plu celebrating raya - PLU Raya 101

1. Baju raya: it's a compulsory for a Malay plu to have at least one complete baju melayu, with sampin. Some even have more than one complete baju melayu. In contrary, straight Malay guy sometime they don't mind of not having new baju melayu. But not with plu.

2. Cooking: Majority of plu love cooking. Regardless of races, plu are born with passion in cooking. Plu also find cooking is a therapeutic exercise. During raya, malay plu will be busy helping their mother preparing rendang, potong bawang, etc. In other word, they are the one who are busy doing things in the kitchen rather than lepaking or going for terawih prayer on the last night of Ramadhan.

3. Open house: Especially Malay plu living in KL, having a grand, meletop raya open house is a must. Hiding behind get together with friends, attending open house raya is a way of cruising. In some occasions, from open house raya leads to open baju raya in bed. Similar mating ritual happen during raya open house. They may started by adding that person into their fb friend list, exchanging mobile no, and eventually exchanging semen in each other mouth.

4. Attending open house raya: Plu is well known as a creature that value external appearance more than internal value. Ok, i may sound bit exaggerating here, but... face it. Whenever you are going for mating ritual, the first eligibility criteria for open baju session is the face aka external appearance. Going back to attending raya open house, most plu will try their best not to wear the same baju melayu twice even for different event. This is the very reason some malay plu going to the extra miles by having more than one complete baju melayu for hari raya. And oh, raya open house plu is a must for those attending wearing full malay costume ya :)

PLU - lifestyle mereka di bulan puasa

As I mention in previous post, I have a boyfriend. I was a fucking loyal boyfriend for many years, before..without I know what exactly happened, I have become type of person yang ada boyfriend tapi tetap lah nak makan luar.Sigh.

Well, enough about that. I'm not gonna talk about it deeper in this post.

What across my mind now is how PLU out there living their life in Ramadhan.

Lets start with me. Well, my boyfriend and I are not religious type of person. Cukup la sekadar ala kadar. Even myself is worst than my boyfriend. At least nowadays, my boyfriend has stopped drinking, but myself... I still drink whenever I have the opportunity, or when the time is right. My boyfriend is also has started sembahyang...so far I notice tak pernah tinggal lagi, of which is good.

My boyfriend even become more religious when Ramadhan comes. Believe me, bulan puasa we never had sex. He wants to respect the holy month by refraining himself from having sex. How I feel about it? well, I respect his stand. Tapi whenever I'm in need, I just pick up my mobile look for anyone that is available. But of coz, without his knowledge.

Myself? beside from fasting, for me in Ramadhan business is as usual. I masih tak sembahyang, sembahyang terawih tidak, once in a while I had sex with my so call regular sex buddy, get drink and had wild sex (ok, not that wild...but in comparison to my boyfriend, it is wild).

I cant help but wonders...if my boyfriend can refrain himself from having sex with me for one month...why not he just continue? work bit harder and depress the feeling. Live a life as a good muslim....

How about other PLU? One  thing that I know, most of us...life is business as usual in Ramadhan. Sex with complete stranger happen like usual, browsing PR like usual, grinding the Grindr like usual...Some even worst...tak puasa langsung. Completely no respect at all.

Where am I heading actually with this entry? No where..just a random thought while waiting for my boyfriend to pick me up, and I can wait to melancap alone tonight. Oh, we are not staying together, although our house is quite near to each other.