Mahadzhir…
Lately tidurku memang tidak lena. Macam-macam mimpi yang sangat tidak menyenangkan mengganggu tidurku. Dah acapkali aku terjaga around 2-3am, distracted by the dream.
And last night, I dream about Mahadzhir. Yes…the man that gave huge impact in my life.
In my dream, I was back to the day I started knowing him…and ended up myself lying in his arm….damn I miss that moment! I miss him!
Aku mula rapat dengan Mahadzhir pun bukan dengan cara kebiasaan. That time, usually kitaorang akan tengok tv beramai-ramai didewan makan. Usually we will watch in dark. That one night, Mahadzhir was sitting behind me. I don’t know how exactly it started, but what I remember..sepanjang tengok tv tu, Mahadzir was hugging me from the back. Close…really close. And I started feeling different. The way that he hugged me is different. Unlike others. Although that was the first time we get so close to each other, but I can feel it. Sepanjang tengok tv tu, dia cuma pelok aku dari belakang saja. Sometime, I can feel his breathing as he leaned forward, soo close to my neck. Dan aku dapat rasa yang nafas dia turun naik heavily.
Bila dah habis tengok tv, we left. But I cant forget pelukan dia. Dan aku pergi ke dorm dia, dan lepak with my friend that was in the same dorm with him. Well, actually that was the first time I ever lepak in that dorm. Dan….that night I slept with him. He hugged me.well..masa tu naïve sangat lagi. We both cuma golek-golek…and dia gomol aku seperti aku ni seorang wanita.
Starting from that night, I got close with him. Zaman tu, aku kumpul komik Juara Wira, dan dia kumpul komik Pendekar Laut. Both are comics from Hong Kong artist, translated to malay language. Both of us went to the same shcool session. Sekolah pagi we called it. Lepas lunch, usually we will have two hours break before we continue with kelas mengaji. Hm…paling aku tak boleh lupa…kitaorang selamba jer tido berpelukan di siang hari, during the breaktime after lunch! Bila fikir-fikir balik…gila betul!
Paling best, usually both of us akan baca komik Pendekar Laut rapat-rapat, and berpeluk-peluk. Kelakar, kononnye tido la. But in actual both of us didn’t sleep. I still remember almost all the time, I can feel his breath turun naik heavily…terasa each time dia telan air liur….a signal yang dia dah terangsang. But I remember, we didn’t do much other than peluk-peluk. Honestly, it was indeed a moment that I would not forget forever. The way he hugs me, the way he kisses me on my neck, everything. Although that time, our physical contact didn’t involved sucking and fucking, but I really reasured the moment. Sometime simplicity adalah yang terbaik.
Starting from that tv incidence, I can say I slept with him almost every night. Dan every night jugak la kitaorang akan berpelukan dan gomol menggomol…..and dia akan peluk aku throughout the night..sampai siang….aku ingat lagi, there was one night when our school organized a function. I didn’t attended as I was sick from a fever. Much to my surprise, Mahadzhir pun tak turun and he accompanied all night. Letak kain basah atas kepala….and peluk aku sambil baca buku. How sweet it that?
Too bad..a.fter form three, when i moved to boarding school...i lost contact with him. During that time, there is no such thing as internet and handphone. Dan terus lost contact until now. at time, im curious to know how he's living his life now..as a married straight guy? as a married guy guy? or as a gay?
