Aku sekarang telah berumur 30 tahun....30 years old...sudah terlalu ramai lelaki yang bersilih ganti dalam hidup aku. Seriously too many i had slept with. But yet..there are so many men, but yet so little time! hahaha. Aku pernah cuba menyenaraikan semua lelaki yang pernah aku terlajak, atau aku sengaja lajakan...ternyata ramai..sampai aku tak sanggup untuk teruskan. Lelaki dalam hidupku sekarang? Nanti aku akan coretkan di sini...But now now. Sekarang adalah masa untuk aku revisit all the memories...walking down the memories lane....
Zaman sekolah menengah divided into two parts. Aku bersekolah di dua sekolah yang berbeza. One is co-ed school and another is boys school. Both are boarding school. Tingkatan 4 dan 5 adalah sekolah berasrama penuh, whilst form 1 to form 3 asrama harian.
Aku akan coretkan segala yang terlintas di fikiran aku semasa di sekolah campur dahulu. Dari form one to form three. Memang akui aku sebenarnya telah terjebak sejak kecik. Tetapi segalanya masih kabur di waktu itu, dan aku masih tidak bergitu aktif (was it?). Semasa aku di form one tidak banyak perkara terjadi. As a matter of fact, nothing happend. Dan, aku masih belum akil baligh, tidak pernah bermimpi basah lagi ketika itu.
Di from two, it was at almost reaching the year end, aku akil baligh. but....not from the wet dream. When i was in form two, ada seorang senior (tingkatan tiga) yang mula memegang my penis when i sleep. i cant exactly remember how it all started. Most importantly i remember first time i cum because he played with my penis.
That night, he came to me masa aku dah tido. when he touched my penis, i woke up...but i pretended still in sleep as his touched was indeed a pleasure. Azman is his name. Should i disclose his name in here? what the heck...there are so many other people with the name of Azman. Azman terus memainkan penis in a way that i never experience before. Untill i got to the climax, and i cum. After i cum, he left me. Didnt even bother to check whether i actually awake or in a sleep in that time.
After i cum, i was confused. in my mind i was thinking what is the hell that happend to me? Damn naive! aku rasa teramat nikmat when i cum, but at the same time i was questioning myself what had happend. i touched the cum, and it was sticky. i was confused and lost, but at the same time the pleasure masa pancut overwhlemed me. Dan aku sambung tido.
The next morning, i acted like there was nothing happend between me and Azman. And that was the first and the last time he touched and played my penis. I eventually realized what happend to me is what we called as onani or melancap. yes...i was molested until i cum...yes...Aku akil baligh by force......
From that moment also i know how to melancap, and the hunger for man to played my penis gone as i started melancap almost every night!
Dari form one to form three, ada lima orang lelaki yang pernah menjebakkan diri mereka with me. Not a number to be proud with.....dah yang paling aku tak akan lupa sampai mati is Mahadthir....I will write about him in different entry....in a special entry about him...
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