Again  and again... i lost the temptation to write...

Aku mesti kuatkan semangat untuk menulis. hahahah...kelakar.

Anyway...last post about how my life as gay started pun terbantut. Nanti-nanti lah aku sambung.

Aku rasa lebih baik aku tulis about my current life. As a discreet gay (really?) i often consumed by the thought of how am i going to live my life.Sigh. I am now 31 years old. I'm kindda satisfied with my work now, salary ok....tapi aku acapkali terfikir sampai bila aku nak berterusan macam ni.

Aku dah ada lover....

tapi aku tetaplah mengadap PR....messaging stranger yang aku taste. Eventhough tak kemana pun. Usually ended up after exchanging few messages.

Aku dah ada lover...

Tapi tetaplah aku terangsang melihat lelaki lain.

Aku dah ada lover....

Tapi tetaplah aku message my exes, my scandal....

and, oh.... i am not that loyal pun to my lover. Kalau dulu, yes, i can proudly say i am a fucking loyal boyfreind. But now...bila gersang, carik exes, or scandal ajak main. Of course with my lover, every week dapat. And...of course....pandai makan, pandai simpan....

Anyway, going back to my keep-on-coming annoying thought.

cliche it may sound. it's all about mcm mana lah aku nk teruskan hidup bila dah tua. Although im pretty much confident, i would not get married, but the thought of me living my life alone...kindda depressing. Lover? sampai bila je. Friend? well...apparently with FB era, friendship is getting harder to maintain. Aku dah hilang banyak kawan-kawan rapat. Or may be sebab makin dewasa, makin berbeza pemikiran.

welll, life as a gay... penuh ranjau berduri.....